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Game Journalism lols

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1 Game Journalism lols on Sun Sep 17, 2017 10:47 am


This has to be seen to be believed, and even then you probably wont.

This cannot be defended.

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2 Re: Game Journalism lols on Mon Sep 18, 2017 3:18 am

I take issue of how making games 'accessible' means dumbing them down for those who don't care to actually improve their performance in games. The first thing that comes up in discussions of making games accessible is making them easy and lowering the skill ceiling, I say making games accessible is a much more thoughtful matter.
I'd say firstly have custom controls and options for multiple controllers since then one can make their preferred control setup, since controls are just a means to interface with a game, everyone has their own control preferences, so it shouldn't have to get to the point where devs have to be pressured by actual disabled folk to have custom controls, since your still crippling players by not allowing their prefered control options available. This should be the universal game standard, unless it's QWOP or octodad where the awkward unintuitive controls are the point then all games should have them period.

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3 Re: Game Journalism lols on Mon Sep 18, 2017 5:09 am


Ok. But let's just make fun of these idiots.

The defense squad for this particular guy is hilarious. Their arguments are so weak I have trouble quantifying just how much. Of course you should be good at games if you want to state facts but all they do is list anything they couldnt beat/figure out as 'flaws' or bad design. Even on the most basic level, they are incapable of learning how something works. Incapable of asking themselves if they're doing something wrong.

It's easy to call detractors 'butthurt fanboys' in the comments, but that doesnt say anything. Remember the God Hand IGN review? Not long after that the same guy wrote an article something like 'Apparently Im an asshole because God Hand sucks'.

Incapable of, for even a second, considering anything else. Sadly this behaviour is widespread. The inmates are running the asylum, as they say.

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4 Re: Game Journalism lols on Mon Sep 18, 2017 6:35 am

Haha ok. The problem with the incompetent is that they tend to be ignorant of their own incompetence, which is very dangerous. You have to be exceptionally poor at common sense and basic learning processes to fail at something as simple as cuphead, which is modelled after run n gun arcade games. Back in the arcade days you would walk up to a cabinet and just play the damn thing, usually they are super simple like rail shooters where you literally just point onscreen to shoot and offscreen to reload, many had demos that showed the controls and gameplay.
It baffles me as how old are some of these guys? You think they would have played a game like cup head before, nes/snes days you usually had a game or two and they usually kicked your arse but you would keep playing and persevere.

Also statistically most who play games don't finish them, like about 90-95%, so it's highly likely these reviewers don't even finish the games they review. I genuinely struggle to comprehend their mindset it's so eldritch to me. Also most humans would rather blame other factors than themselves.

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5 Re: Game Journalism lols on Mon Sep 18, 2017 8:44 am

There was a pretty big talk about this on gamefaqs as well, and I am a bit on the 'both sides' front. To say journalists need to be sick gamers is a bit of a stretch (I think it would make their writing more niche (like mine) if anything). But they should at least be competent and, for a review, see what the game has to offer. God Hand's review (and Ninja Gaiden 3's too) are infamous for the reviewer not getting past the first freak'n stage.

"Ninja Gaiden 3 is all cities, which can get a bit boring at times" was part of the original NG3 review, of which only the first stage was a city. Good job IGN. That said as we covered before, sometimes you can't blame them in terms of deadlines. It's why I like magazine reviews the best as they get plenty of time to finish and review a title.

Also that video of Cuphead....dear god man. That was a pain to watch. "JUMP ON THE DAMN PLATFORM" was all I was thinking. I've also had this when seeing the original 'demo playthrough' of Metal Gear Rising at e3. Literally all the player did was mash Blade Mode; so he would stand in front of an enemy and just use blademode cutting even if he was without fuel. He stated 'combat feels really stiff, no block and dodge or regular attack or anything'. Guy didn't know you could attack normally at all, he just used Blade Mode exclusively. I swear some people... it's like watching DSPgaming play at times.

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6 Re: Game Journalism lols on Mon Sep 18, 2017 9:06 am


Yeah I should have mentioned I'm only targeting a certain type though sadly they're the majority and have become normalized.

I'm definitely not asking them to be god action game players. What gets me, is how they know NOTHING and still state their claims as fact.

Your MGR example is perfect and that type of shit is what's happening at the top, fueling those garbage, weighted Metacritic scores that even developers fear and cater to.

A simple set of guidelines would work wonders even under deadlines. I could easily play any action game for less than an hour and come up with all kinds of good shit and tell you exactly how it plays, and even then, I would search for good players and see what they're saying before claiming anything. It's not that hard. But these idiots would rather just basically transfer their barely functional motor skills and lack of knowledge to paper.

I have read ENDLESS reviews on all the games I play, which is a lot over the years. And EVERY SINGLE ONE has a legion of reviewers spouting crap that is 100% untrue. Just claims based on the limits of the player, no ability to learn even the basics, stupid, or just plain liars.

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7 Re: Game Journalism lols on Mon Sep 18, 2017 11:05 am

It gets really frustrating when reading a review and either not knowing what the hell it's about or knowing the title and thinking "did you even play it". I still recall a Dutch magazine review of Resident Evil 4 which called the protagonist "Chris". Did... he even play one second of it? Or is he that ignorent I wonder haha.

Downside about looking online for good player insights is that it's really rare for there to be any when the review is written. Still the whole 'my opinion is fact' thing can get really tired I agree. A good article by default should get you interested while still showing the pros and cons, a review should never as a goal have "AVOID THIS TRASH HOLY SHIT" which a lot have.

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8 Re: Game Journalism lols on Mon Sep 18, 2017 9:50 pm


Maybe not for that particular game, but communities and genre experts exist and can easily be located.

It's not only these so called 'pros' but also Youtubers and the general public who are just as bad. I often wonder what the thought process is. It's like while they're playing they think they're the only ones in the world.

They could check after the game is fully out and see what good players have done.

They could leave their review open. What I mean is not state any of their perceived negatives as fact (as they usually aren't, rather they are a product of their rage and shattered egos) but that would require a mirror and their own reflection.

They should be fans of the genre they're writing about. I don't play FPS, racing, or sports games, so I don't go out and tell people shit about them anyway.

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9 Re: Game Journalism lols on Tue Sep 19, 2017 8:58 am

I feel that revisiting a review later-on would be a lot more meaingful, but it would really butcher the metascoring system and we can't have that now can we! Joking aside some sites and outlets do this, to some degree. Edge, whose praise I keep singing, has Time-Extend; a article once a month where they revisit an old game.

One thing that makes it worse is the pressure of time. When a game comes out you need to have your review ready otherwise you're behind the curve and people won't buy it or won't watch your review. And you're better off following the masses otherwise you'll get bad post-launch reactions. Nobody likes loving a game and seeing a 2/10 slapped on something they enjoyed. So it's really out of their hands, a lot of it has to do with the consumer in these cases.

Still a post-review or re-review is really apt. Hell I did it with Nioh, for which I rushed a piece just to get viewers on the hype train that was rolling back then and after that re-reviewed it just because that article was wrong in so many ways haha.

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10 Re: Game Journalism lols on Tue Sep 19, 2017 9:22 am


When a game comes out you need to have your review ready otherwise you're behind the curve and people won't buy it or won't watch your review.

Maybe, but it's more than that. Everything they say is inaccurate, and if the game made them mad, or if they are just plain stupid as they mostly are , they tell outright lies about it. They know what they're doing.

It's actually completely absurd when you think about all this stuff. Like, how it actually works and who is in the position of authority to decide if a game will succeed or fail, and they know it.

Again, some of the worst are the regular critics or random users who flood the internet with their garbage reviews and trolling. They don't have any deadlines and they get extremely hostile when you try to raise anything with them like showing them actual mechanics and videos of good gameplay.

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11 Re: Game Journalism lols on Sat Sep 30, 2017 1:02 am



This is the kind of shit I'm talking about. How can you have a series of videos called 'Wait, Rent, Buy' when your review and experience is based on playing on release then throwing out a video?

Again with the juggles/combo variety crap. First, when you know the mechanics, it has them. Second, how do you make this judgement when you have barely played the game? Same for the repetition comment.

Enemies are 'guilty' of spamming attacks to the point of being annoying and causing too mcu hdeath and restarts? Crap. First, if they're doing an attack so much to the point of labeling it as spam, then why the hell haven't you learned it and how to avoid it? Oh, that's right, making claims on day 1.

Can't climb buildings? Oh yeah that was something Transformers did Bayonetta couldn't climb buildings but no complaints? Personally I despise that illusion of 'freedom'.

How do you say, it will get repetitive for 'some players'? How do you even know that especially as early as this review was created?

This is what I mean when I talk about how they can never leave anything open and just state it as fact.

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12 Re: Game Journalism lols on Sat Sep 30, 2017 4:30 am

No climbing, that's funny I've never heard that before, you can reach high areas where goodies are.
I don't have anything to say about this stuff I agree with you fully on this. I avoid review stuff except from those I trust and even then I'm not going to believe them blindly as it's just their thoughts on matters, same as these reviewers it's their opinion no matter if they are so called professionals.
Ign and crew have been a laughing stock for a good while now so anyone with half a mind of their own would think for themselves and not listen to them.

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13 Re: Game Journalism lols on Wed Oct 04, 2017 4:55 am

A review should actually just inform the audience of the games actual mechanics and there uses, and the overall game that is being presented. It's better if most reviews where really just impressions since then they wouldn't have pretences of having to state facts. Most reviewers are only informed enough to make impressions and not supposed reviews.

TotalBiscuit doesn't do reviews he just talks about a given game while he plays it, so you can see for yourself instead of snap judgments. It's much more humble and informative than trying to make a 'review'.

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14 Re: Game Journalism lols on Fri Oct 06, 2017 11:08 am


I watched some of the Ruiner one. See what he said about dashing? He could have said he hasnt needed to use it and called it worthless or something, but instead leaves it open, by following this with the comment that he's sure it will be useful later. IT WASN'T THAT HARD.

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15 Re: Game Journalism lols on Sat Oct 07, 2017 1:41 am

Haha, yeh, and he's actually showing off the mechanics and upgrades you can choose. Gameranx did a vid on ruiner also and the guy said he thinks the dash having no iframes is bullshit, despite the fact that you can dash multiple times in a row, with slomo, use the multidash mechanic and even dash with the shield making you immune from damage to your front.

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16 Re: Game Journalism lols on Sat Oct 07, 2017 6:25 am

Yo is knack 2:

They seem to have liked it more than transformers, no repetition or spammy mobs complaints.

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17 Re: Game Journalism lols on Sat Oct 07, 2017 6:38 am


I forgot what they said about TFD but it was most likely all crap.

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18 Re: Game Journalism lols on Mon Oct 09, 2017 10:35 am

@Birdman wrote:I watched some of the Ruiner one. See what he said about dashing? He could have said he hasnt needed to use it and called it worthless or something, but instead leaves it open, by following this with the comment that he's sure it will be useful later. IT WASN'T THAT HARD.
I really feel you, a lot of times you just need to have an open mind and admit "I am not the end-all-be-all knowledge point of this game, I've only played it for an hour". I feel that a lot of times reviewers want to state their opinion as fact to come off as more secure, while it only back fires in the end.

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19 Re: Game Journalism lols on Tue Oct 10, 2017 10:38 am


So I'm just going to counter the bullshit presented in this review by this idiot.

Knack is slow and unresponsive.
Bullshit. He controls and responds just fine. You can jump cancel near everything instantly and any frame too.

He has 3 punches and a kick
At the start sure. He also has a jumping attack but I know it's a bit to harsh of me to expect the common reviewer to discover such complicated, hidden moves. Jim mentions upgrades later, so why criticize the starting moveset? He acts like this is all you have throughout the whole game. Both can be upgraded in attack power and number of hits too.

Can only dodge 3 times and open after the last dodge
God forbid you time stuff instead of spamming. Every game in existence has something that can leave you open especially when you misuse it.

Needs to take small breaks between dodging which leaves him open.
Sounds like he's just mashing dodge every time he sees an attack. So again, bad timing and misuse. No thought to the direction of the incoming attack. Nevermind the dodge upgrades you get.

*Behind dodge - Can go through an enemy and get to their blind side.
*Aura dash - The dodge damages enemies.

Very useful techknacks.

Range of dodge not adequate.
It doesn't have huge range, no. You might have to... *GASP* JUDGE DISTANCE!!!

Also, like many action games, maybe the dodge is not the best defensive option in certain situations. You can jump and block too. Uh oh, another no-no! Thinking! Learning!

Punch range too short.
These are getting kinda silly now. He just keeps blaming every little thing on the game. Puch range is fine. If you just keep running into enemies and swinging you're going to get hit. Knack enemies don't mess around.

And the first attack of the kick combo actually has huge forward momentum. I use it often.

Whines about block animation and exaggerates how slow it is.
Lol. No mechanical knowledge whatsoever. The block comes up fine, but when you're mashing you can't transition to another action.

Ranged attack acquired too late in the game.
Ahahaha no. Bullshit. You don't get the boomerang that late.

Claims the ranged attack is not very good.
Oh man this guy. Let's review what the boomerang can do.

*Restrain enemies which serves to give you a free attack, or to just temporarily put them out of combat.
*Against shield enemies, even though they can block it, you still force them into a blocking state letting you close the distance and guardbreak them (or use the techknack where you throw while they're attacking to restrain them even with their shields).
*The boomerang can cancel electric shields instantly.
*It has INSANE homing. Like I've had it go directly upwards when this Knack clone was above me about to come down with a bodyslam.
*The boomerang's restraining ability is dependent on Knack's size at the time, meaning some larger enemies can break out instantly, or not be affected at all if they are super large but even then, with the ones that break out instantly, they are vulnerable while in that animation. You can close gaps, throw again, attack, then throw again immediately and stun lock them. If all of this isn't 'very good' then damn son tell me what is.
*Some small critter type enemies can be killed with the boomerang, and larger ones too if Knack is big enough.

And I'm not done! There are two upgrades. One lets you throw two boomerangs (not at once but in succession) which just doubles all of the above. The other upgrade causes and explosion when you attack a restrained enemy for a little extra damage and I think it hits anyone super close.

And to top it off, it has numerous useful environmental applications. It targets sunstones and insects, which are non-hostile critters that give exp. They fly or crawl away when you get close but with the boomerang you're set. There are golden ones too worth big points and they are even faster but with the boomerang you can get them before they know you're there.

I just now realized that he might be talking about the hookshot which in Knack's long range grab, but even then, that move is super useful. I'll cover it anyway just to be a dick.

*Grabs enemies from a safe distance and pulls them in, stunning them. Think Scorpion's special move.
*When enemies take their ready stance, you can pull them right out of it.
*You can grab out of reach sunstones.
*While you can't grab armored of shielded enemies (if you aren't big enough), you can still halt them somewhat as Knack's arm bounces off. You still wouldn't want to try it really but it's there.
*Can be used to grab those insects too.

Button delay to block and parry making them off.
Utter bullshit. End of story.

Also I find it extremely funny but also extremely disingenuous that he shows footage to back these up (doesn't prove anything) and most likely set up crap situations just for this review.

Whining that the enemies have more ability, and that any one would be more fun to play as.
Just plain trolling now. Knack has abilities that can own every enemy. They have nowhere near the capability the player is given. I'll agree that the enemies ARE interesting. Mechanically that is.

Skills that help in combat are too little too late.
Weird because I had a ton of skills early lol.

Criticizing how the game teaches you some moves "letting the player bash their head on wall and not saying how to defeat an opponent.
I know he's referring to the an early chapter where you need the guardbreak to beat this one type. All that happens in that enemy blocks you. That's it. You don't get beaten or hurt, then the characters tell you how to do it in a cutscene followed by a QTE. This happens a few times in the game. VERY FEW. And even then, this is the only time you fight something and nothing works. Basically a tutorial fight.

And the icing on the cake, Jim claims the game has nothing mechanically. Just.Fucking.LOL.

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20 Re: Game Journalism lols on Tue Oct 10, 2017 8:37 pm


I noticed his first comment is that the comment section will be full of angry people and memes. Like he's trying to set a certain shitty baseline so anything that comes after, even if it destroys his claims, will be seen as such.

Sad because as I've said I enjoy some of his content but then he acts like this. Why try to destroy a game's success? It doesn't make any sense.

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21 Re: Game Journalism lols on Tue Oct 10, 2017 10:11 pm

Knacktastic comment birdman, yeh Jim can talk some decent fluff about games media but when it comes to discussing games as games he doesn't know his arse from his elbow. He's too much of a narcissist, a very cynical and lazy one, his opinions on games are wildly biased and unsubstantiated given he shits on knack 2 and vanquish but defends DmC(defends the bosses of all things) and Hellblade(even made an apology vid).

He also hates knack 1 as per meme tradition(its on his worst games of 2013 list). I honestly don't know why he thinks like this, his contradictions when he states fallacy for a game but then loves something like hellblade despite barely being classified as a game with uninspired shallow gameplay. I genuinely just want to know, he needs to be challenged, his stature is too high to be making these claims.
What did knack do to anyone? Ice is nice bruh, ice is nice.

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22 Re: Game Journalism lols on Wed Oct 11, 2017 5:58 am

Shares thoughts of mine, he brings up accessibility also sighting custom controls to actually allow you and especially the disabled to actually even interface with a game. I should put this in another topic.

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23 Re: Game Journalism lols on Wed Oct 11, 2017 10:06 am

I agree with every thing you said Bird, and honestly - if it wasn't Jim - I'd say post it. But he doesn't care nor does he read it. I actually did something similar at Eurogamer and even got a, albeit condecending, reply from the writer of the article (of which my inbox still floods with hate).

Still it is frightful how little effort they start putting in their works that effecitively stear  the industry. Never have I seen an industry so directed by people who don't interact with the product.

> Gabriel
I do have to note that I am liking him less and less since this became his 'job'. Like many a Youtuber (DSP especially) you always see a sneer of elitism sneak in. Still, his points are solid. But one thing people give forgetting to bring up...cheats.
I say it best here:

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24 Re: Game Journalism lols on Wed Oct 11, 2017 8:38 pm


It's a shit show that's for sure.

Interesting posts Roy. Ive had some fun with chrats in one of the Transformers games like having all minicons from the start, no power limit on loadout and infinite dash which allowed me to get out of bounds. Infinite health is alwsys nice for testing stuff.

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25 Re: Game Journalism lols on Thu Oct 12, 2017 8:50 am

Haha, yeh I love cheats, I used to get stuck on Rayman 1 a lot as a kid so I'd use cheats to skip to other levels or have extra lives and abilities. Cheats are great since they let you do whatever you want, completely optional game changing modifiers pretty much. I'd also use infinite credits on the emulated arcade games I had.
Dmc3 even has a unlock everything cheat code. I beat dmd for dmc4 just to get the super costumes for Dante/Nero to mess around with unlimited devil trigger.

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26 Re: Game Journalism lols on Fri Oct 13, 2017 10:50 pm



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27 Re: Game Journalism lols on Sat Oct 14, 2017 7:51 am

This sounds good, impressions are more honest than supposed reviews, stuff that total biscuit does is more productive and informative as he just plays a game and you may see for yourself, as he's not the best at the games he looks at but doesn't claim to state facts constantly.
He must be aware of his own ignorance/incompetence given his recent change of mind, he also did a sort of parody of his vanquish review which I imagine is meant to acknowledge he was wrong but it comes off as lazy and cynical especially when he apologized to hellblade for giving it a 1/10 for that bug he encountered(not that the 'game' is any worthwhile though as far as I'm concerned).

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28 Re: Game Journalism lols on Sun Oct 15, 2017 7:54 am


I don't get Jim.

I just watched his Jimpression of Shadow of War and he mentions these orcs that dodge everything and he admits to not knowing how to really deal with them and just shot them in the face. He says he's sure there are other ways to deal with them but isn't aware what they are.

But then other times he just states fact and assumes crap. Why?

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29 Re: Game Journalism lols on Sun Oct 15, 2017 8:19 am

I imagine it's the traditional rushed game review mentality that he's sick of, limited time with game+rushed deadline=forced assumptions as one must sound professional since it's a 'review'.

He's smart enough to know better now, it's what review mentality does, even Vash TSB jumped to conclusions in his transformers devastation review, yet he claims to not know everything in his lp of said game a year later.
It's clear he's stopped reviews in favor of impressions due to the games industry review structure which is just broken, I'm more than hopeful about this, I've never trusted his reviews they suck plain and simple, his other vids are usually much more natural and informative. He said that reviews are stressful due to being so rushed, doing impressions allows him to gain knowledge of a game over time, he said he'd do update vids on games instead of reviews.

And hey, maybe Jim will give knack 2 another krack, he's aware he goofed with vanquish, I hope given his parody vid.

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